okay. today's posting is early. got nothing to do at home. was waiting for her reply but in the end i decided to give up. maybe shall talk about yesterday. she came online. we chatted and suddenly talked about our stuffs again. was getting more emotional when we continued to talk about it. and then i decided to spill out everything. cause since we became like this is cause of a range of stupid misunderstandings. so told her how i felt and suddenly she just wen offline. few minutes later i received a message from her saying that her com hang so continue today but i just wanted to settle it by yesterday night. well in e end she said she don't want to make her mom to cut off her sister's line so i told her that then when she thinks that its time for us to talk then talk. i am so *&%^ed up at that point of time serious. pure &^%@'ed up.
so i woke up at 8 once. look at my hp see if i have got a message from her but don't have so i told myself that maybe she haven't wake up. after that i woke up at 11. went to e bathroom. came back just lie on my bed. thinking of what we have done last time while waiting for her reply and listening to 98.7. think and think and think.wait and wait and wait. and messaged her so how.she did not reply. at first thought of like going to the temple before i meet her but now i don't think i need to go. partly is cause i don't need to meet her. and partly i think i have given up.real give up.
i realized that i can't do a 2 persons job. its so tiring. trying to save things at a point of time like this. think its time to heed my friends advice and then moved on since she has started to moved on. i have tried my best to save this and survived till now and i think that i wont have any more regrets. people maybe you will find it quite easy to read this post cause its in long form and all my ... are gone. and Geraldine its not cause i make it convenient for you to read. its cause when i type long form i am being serious. real serious.
guess this time i wont break my promise that i made to myself. ben once said in chinese. don't run for the bus that you have already missed cause there is more behind. for this period of time i think i will walk instead of taking bus. and also don't know when i will take the next bus. mayb when i feel like to i will take it. well end of this chapter. =) again, when there is not pig on my hp that means i have forgotten her.
thanks STANCE for killing her braincells for talking to me yesterday night and it is not a waste to wait for you to come online. thanks and JJ thanks for your advice. lub both of ur dip dip. =) and to karad, you got a good gf. in some ways. =) n qi dun start floating. my sakae. thx.
shall end here. maybe tonight i'll post again. depends =) that addidas fragrance will always be in my mind.
1:22 PM
Yours Truly
Jiahan
thats what everyone calls me.
13th may is my big day
& 20yrs of experience braving through the storms
of course with some of you guys.. =))
